Hourly Struggles

Have you ever felt that evil was winning? That no matter what you did, you ended up on the wrong end of the stick? You probably already know that you aren’t alone. For decades, no matter how good I tried to be, no matter how persevering, I just seemed to lose in the end.

My spiritual journey has many gaps as well as the normal ups and downs. This may seem like an oxymoron, but I was raised Catholic by non-believers. I hung in there until Confirmation. Then, in my early 40s, I found Gaithersburg Presbyterian Church and have grown spiritually over the last ten years. What I learned is that my childhood wish that things would keep improving until I died was really a “childish” wish.

The reason why became clearer as I read CH Spurgeon’s devotion for the morning of March 2^nd: “We are engaged in a great war with the Philistines of evil.” The Christian Bible never promises a trouble free life. In fact, it says just the opposite: “In the world ye shall have tribulation.” (John 16:33) The evil of the world will plague mankind until the Second Coming of Jesus. This plague comes from within as well as from without. Being left alone is also a long-held desire for me. Spurgeon’s evening devotion for February 20^th warned me that evil comes even in solitude.

What I also learned is that I should not try to avoid temptation. The first reason is that unless I have achieved a mature holy spirit, I will be an easy pawn for Satan. The second is that there are things to be learned from trials that can be shared with others. This works for me because I don’t feel I wasted my suffering. The third reason is that earthly imperfections need to be weaned out of me if I want to go to Heaven.

What is the practical solution to this? I must continue to study scripture and mature spiritually so I can put the whole armor of God on “for the arch-deceiver will seize [my] first unguarded hour to make [me] his prey.” (February 20^th)